Here Comes the Sun: The June 2022 Goddess Provisions Box Review

Happy June and welcome back to another blog post! This time we’ll be reviewing the June 2022 Goddess Provisions box, themed around solar energy. Solar energy isn’t just for powering cars anymore, you can utilize this renewable resource to recharge your own batteries. GP has provided some tools to help you get started.

Once again I purchased this box with my own money and have not been compensated in any way to discuss this box.

PC Kendall Hurley

This box contains seven items, ranging in value from $3.99 to $28. The price of the box hovers around $35, so you get a pretty good deal. The items are all full size, so this box is great value for your money.

Tarot Sun Card pendant necklace

I love getting jewelry in boxes, shiny things make me so happy. It’s fitting for the sunshine box to include a gold plated necklace for us!

This glistening golden necklace displays a rendition of the sun tarot card. I’ve received tarot card necklaces in boxes before and loved them even though I don’t practice tarot. I think channeling the concept they represent can be a good intention for your day. My only complaint is that the pendant isn’t as dainty as I’d prefer, but I like this nonetheless.

4/5

Hair oil elixir

Receiving beauty products is also always fun for me because I don’t tend to splurge or try new products on my own. I guess a downfall to doing it this way is that I can’t pick out the products themselves, but most of the time I end up really enjoying the product, even if I don’t repurchase it.

My hair is naturally wavy and likes to frizz, so I’m all about using a hair oil to tame it. I love the way this smells too, like jasmine by the ocean.

5/5

“Blue Me Away” blue matcha powder

Blue matcha powder is a trend going around the Internet lately, I think due to TikTok, and is promoted as a caffeine-free energy drink powder. I don’t really understand the science behind that, because matcha is tea and tea has caffeine, so color me confused. I think the reason this was included was because caffeine=energy and fits into the sun theme, not because the color blue=the sky=the sun is in the sky.

This was my least favorite item in the box (there is always one.) Getting food items in boxes kinda freaks me out, because I don’t feel like I can trust the ingredients. I have a lot of anxiety around trying new foods, so I probably won’t even use this. I don’t want to pass it along either, so I guess it’s going to sit in my pantry until I can figure out how to use it another way.

1/5

Shower steamer

This smells so good! I normally don’t gravitate towards invigorating scents but I like that this one is fresh and fruity but also down to earth, with orange and lemon with a touch of rosemary. It also isn’t too sweet.

I’ve never used a shower steamer before but I think it’s like a bath bomb for your shower, and turns your shower into a spa experience. Either way, I’d love to incorporate aromatherapy into my life more and this item feels like a real treat.

5/5

Golden spoon

First of all, this spoon is so cute! And second of all, it goes perfectly with the sun and moon mug we got a few months back in the GP box. So Instagram worthy.

I think this spoon is made from brass and colored gold, so I don’t know how food-safe it is, and that information wasn’t provided. I think this spoon would be good for sprinkling sugar into tea or bath salts into water, but don’t do those two things together!

4/5

Brass bookmark

I’ve always had a bit of an addiction to collecting bookmarks; they just enhance the aesthetic of the reading experience. GP also make some lovely silvery bookmarks that this compliments nicely. I think the sun motif looks so happy peeking over the page.

However, my complaint with metal bookmarks like this one is that it seems too heavy for most book pages. The average book paper is too thin, I think, to hold up to the weight of this guy. Also, the size is a bit awkward. Again, I think this is a super photogenic product but not super practical. Maybe it’d be good for a cookbook.

2/5

Prehnite stone

One of my favorite parts of the GP boxes is getting a new stone every month. I’ve grown my collection so much in the past year! Prehnite is new to me, but I love the pale, vibrant green. They say that this is a water-safe, “compassionate crystal,” which is so adorable. Including the info about this stone being water safe is great because some stones can dissolve in water, like selenite.

4/5

I also want to leave a footnote here about the packaging with Goddess Provision boxes. Not only do they plant a tree for each box sold, the company is also committed to becoming more eco-friendly with it’s packaging materials. Most of the wrapping inside the box for the items is paper or cardboard, which can be recycled or repurposed. The designs on the packaging is super giftable as well, and I just want to pass that thought along.

Final thoughts:

Goddess Provisions truly did a great job curating this box. Opening each item felt like Christmas, even if I didn’t love them all. With the exception of the blu matcha powder, I felt as though the items fit the theme and were all exciting to me. My favorite thing in the box is probably the hair oil, followed by the necklace and the spoon.

I’m really looking forward to recharging myself by channelling some solar energy this month, and using these items to radiate some light into my life!

Harmonize with the Cosmos: May 2022 Goddess Provisions Subscription Box Review

PC Kendall Hurley

Hello! Welcome back to my blog. Today we are going to be reviewing the April edition of the Goddess Provisions box, the Mercury retrograde kit.

These boxes are $33.00 USD a month and are available in monthly, three months, 6 months and annual subscriptions. US shipping free, and the boxes ship at the beginning of every month so you’ll get yours in time. Each box contains around 6 or 7 items, valued between $5 and $30 each.

Let’s go through the included items and then I’ll let you know what I think!

Retrograde journal: You all know I enjoy journaling, but I’m pretty new to these guided journals. I like the idea; journaling and setting an intention for a specific theme. The book looks and feels good quality.

Incense holder and incense: These are technically two items, but I’ve included them together because they go together. The incense is loose, so you light it over a charcoal disc (not included) in the wooded dish. I love how Goddess Provisions includes items like incense and they always have beautiful holders, but I am a little concerned how the wood would hold up when used this way. I do think it would make a cute little jewelry dish!

Black tourmaline: I love me some black tourmaline, it is one of my favorite crystals. Black tourmaline is a protection stone and it was one of my first stones someone ever gifted to me. I love the weight of the stone and the rough texture. I can always use another piece of it; and I love when boxes include crystals. Is this stone new to you?

Smudge detox facial mask: I don’t know how I feel about boxes including body and bath products, because I’m always wary of skincare ingredients. Make sure you always check the labels! But I could use a good facial, so I’m looking forward to trying this one out. I’ve also never used a mask you mix up yourself, so that’s cool. When using new skincare, always patch test and never use it before a big event, just in case!

White sage room mist: My husband and I love room sprays; we live in a tiny house with a cat, so you know, it’s a necessary. I love the scent of white sage, and its cleansing properties, so this is a great alternative to smudging.

What are my thoughts?

I’m always a fan of the Goddess Provisions boxes; they do such a good job of curating an array of items, and it’s worth the price. They source from a bunch of small businesses, mostly women-owned, which I think is great. Overall, I would say this is a pretty standard box, good quality and has a mix of new and familiar items included.

Want more? Check out my April 2022 GP box review here!

Calling to Spring – April 2022 Tamed Wild Subscription Box Review

PC Kendall Hurley

Hi guys! Today I’m going to do a review of the April Tamed Wild subscription box. The theme of this box is springtime so expect flowers and abundance. This box was purchased by me and all opinions are my own, I was not paid to create a review.

The Tamed Wild subscription boxes are $20.00 USD per month, plus shipping. Their shipping rates just went up over the new year, so be careful for that. They have monthly, 3 months, 6 months, and annual plans. Each box contains 4 or 5 items. I’ve been getting their boxes for over a year and a half now, so I have a pretty solid opinion of them by now.

Let’s go over the items in the box:

Ceramic Planter: I really like the marbled appearance and texture of this planter. It’s a little small but perfect for a desk planter. They also included a compostable cup to start growing your plant, and there is a hole in the bottom for drainage. Pretty good quality!

Forget-me-not seeds: You could have gotten these or marigold or money plant seeds; I obviously got the forget-me-nots. Which I love, because they remind me of home. Forget-me-nots symbolize love, respect and dedication. I’m happy with this item, but do be careful: if not contained, they’ll definitely spread in your garden.

Green aventurine worry stone: Aventurine is a very pretty stone with a little bit of natural shimmer to it. Worry stones are often oval shaped with a divot in the middle to “worry.” I like more tactile stones; I find fidgeting with them rather comforting.

I was a little disappointed because my stone was much paler in color and kind of translucent. It’s pretty but not very good quality material. I’ve gotten better quality aventurine from Tamed Wild before though, so it may have been a fluke.

Abundance kit: I really like do-it-yourself kits and if you are new to intention setting, this is a good start. The kit includes: a needle, green thread, yellow fabric, a small vial of mugwort, and a green candle. Green symbolizes abundance, luck and prosperity, and spring invites those concepts in. I’m excited to use mine!

Sticker: This time we also received a Tamed Wild sticker, featuring a gazing ball and moon emblem. I’m always down for a fun sticker, but I’m not sure where I’d put this one.

Is it worth it?

In my opinion, the Tamed Wild boxes are generally good value for money, especially when comparing the items to ones you could buy in a metaphysical shop. Sometimes the quality of the items is lower, but there is always one item that outstands. This time I think it’s the planter; one can always use more plants and therefore planters around. Or it could make a nice gift! I like how Tamed Wild always has a theme and then they match a ritual to that theme, like making an abundance kit.

While it’s a good value, I do wish their shipping times would be better. I get mine sent at the end of the month it’s supposed to be for, which is kind of annoying, and it takes a while to arrive. I received the April box in May, for example. And while their customer service is pretty good, their packaging can sometimes leave more to be desired. But I do like supporting them because it is good value and I stan a woman-owned small business.

Do you get the Tamed Wild box? What do you think of it? What was your favorite item on the list?

Composting for Dummies: How and what we compost in our garden

I’ve written before on how I try to be eco-conscious with my decisions and the kind of impact I want to have on the environment. Part of that has to do with how I think about consumption and waste, and how I try to limit how much plastic I use/bring into my life.

So when we moved into the tiny house, one of the things I wanted to try that I couldn’t previously in our apartment was composting. We finally had some space to try it out. I’m am by no means an expert, and if you are interested in composting, I recommend doing your own research to find out which method works best with your lifestyle.

Questions I get about composting:

How do you compost? We have a compost pile. Yep, a big ol’ pile of dirt and rotting veggies in our backyard. Compost is a fancy word for rotting stuff that turns back into healthy soil, and I love it.

Does it really work? Yes, in the three years we’ve lived here we’ve made compost we can then add to our garden to help more plants grow.

Does it smell? No, it smells like soil. We are lucky to live in a pretty moist area, so leaving things to compost naturally out there is easy for us.

What do we compost? We compost eggshells, yard waste, fruit and vegetable scraps; basically anything that can biodegrade. Don’t compost stuff like animal products or bread, that is how you get critters creeping around like raccoons.

How did you start? Honestly, I told my husband I wanted to try it and he said okay. So we picked a spot in the yard that no one hangs out around and started piling yard and food waste there, and just kind of waited.

How do you keep it going? We like the pile method because it don’t require a lot of upkeep. Every once in a while, one of us will agitate the pile, keep things moving around. But really, stuff rots on its own, melting back into the natural dirt. It’s not perfect but it gets the job done.

Why even bother? Well, rather than contributing to landfills where garbage sits for years and years, this is one way we can reduce our landfill waste and also give back to the land. Compost has many, many benefits when used in growing new plants, so we love it.

I’ll continue to keep you updated on our composting journey! Check back for more!

WitchCraftingWA – The story of my small business

A lot of small business have opened in the wake of the pandemic. People are tired of working for others, with all the drawbacks they can face, and deign to work for themselves. Putting to use their talents and hobbies to support their families, people are really trying to open new doors up.

Cat Embroidery by Kendall Hurley

In early 2020, I picked up a couple of new hobbies: embroidery and jewelry making, in addition to knitting. The thing was, as I got better and more proficient at these things, I was ending up with more than I could use or display myself, or give away. I’d been following an Instagram shop of a friend of mine, and was inspired to try to sell the pieces I’d been creating. Thus, WitchCraftingWA was born.

I wanted the name of my shop to play on the idea of the hedge witch, and stitch witch, because so many of the things I was making and hoping to sell are textile items, embroideries and knitwear.

Lupin Embroidered Baseball Cap by Kendall Hurley

The type of items I make and sell are:

• Embroidery: wall hangings, custom orders, baseball caps
• Knitted items: headbands and scarves
• Jewelry: earrings, necklaces and bracelets

I like creating beautiful pieces that can bring joy to others, either by wearing the piece or displaying it in their home. It brings me a lot of joy to create things, and I hope to spread that joy to others.

Harry Potter Charm Necklace by Kendall Hurley

I do tend to price my pieces on the lower side, as this has always been a side hustle for me. The extra money from sales is nice, but I am not yet in a position to rely solely on this income. Another reason I price things a little lower is because I just want to create things that will make others smile. I value my time, of course, and purchasing raw materials costs me money, but I do turn a small profit.

Over time I have raised my prices some, especially for the embroideries. I use a lot of recycled/upcycled materials when I can. I’m also really lucky that buyers have left very kind reviews on my Etsy page.

Witch Hat Embroidery by Kendall Hurley

I did try selling solely on Instagram, but the algorithm is such that newbies don’t get a lot of traffic. I do better on Etsy, and while I do pay a small fee to list my products, it is worth it to make the sale and give joy to someone else. So now I list my pieces in both places, and that combination works best for me right now.

My goals for my little shop are to keep creating and coming up with new pieces, to maybe one day be able to make more money from it. I want to create a logo and business cards, to maybe sell at a craft fair or local market once the pandemic ends.

If you would like to support me and my shop, you can find me on Etsy as WitchCraftingWA or on Instagram under the name @witch.crafting. Thank you!

Blue Roses Mini Embroidery by Kendall Hurley

My top 8 favorite crystals

For the first installment of my spirituality series, I want to begin lightly with my experience using crystals. Now, I don’t believe stones have special powers, but I do think they can be representative of an energy or intention you are working on. Plus, they sparkle.

You might think that using crystals is a bunch of BS, but please remember that everyone’s spirituality is different, and what works for me may not work for you. The use of crystals in religious practice has been catalogued for centuries, as humans have always gravitated towards them.

For me, crystals are a reminder that with time and pressure, something beautiful can be created. God puts all the pieces in place for us to grow and develop into who we are. I like using crystals in my intention setting and grounding exercises for precisely this reason.

I have quite a collection of crystals. I tend to gravitate towards smaller stones, ones I can hold and carry in my pockets, or ones that are incorporated into jewelry. And I certainly have my favorite crystals to work with, which I’ll get into now.

Photo by Jonny Lew on Pexels.com

My top 8 favorite crystals

These are all stones that I carry with me or wear every day:

Malachite

Malachite is a marbled green stone that comes in many shapes. My favorite piece of malachite is a tumbled freeform, meaning it isn’t completely smooth or in a certain shape.

Malachite is representative of protection and absorbing energy, negative or positive. I prefer to use it while grounding when I’m dealing with anxiety, and envision my negative thoughts flowing away from me into the stone, and positive energy flowing back to me.

Clear quartz

Known as a master healer, clear quartz is a good stone for beginners to work with because it can represent so many things. Clear quartz is great for manifesting and amplifying energy. It is also a good stone for cleansing, either yourself or other crystals.

Clear quartz is also fairly easy to get ahold of in any form, mostly tumbled. I am partial to clear quartz points, personally. Snow quartz, or white quartz, or milky quartz are all the same thing, it’s opaque quartz and can stand in for it’s clear cousin. Also, you can find it anywhere, but I like to look for pieces alongside riverbanks or the ocean.

Rose quartz

I love rose quartz! It comes in all shades of pink, from palest rose to deep watermelon. This is known as the stone of love, but what I really like it for is self acceptance and affirmation. Meditating with rose quartz is always really soothing.

I also use a rose quartz facial roller when I feel tense in my jaw and neck, those have become really popular recently. Stones can get nice and chill if you put them in the fridge before using them, which can enhance the process.

Amethyst

I think everyone is aware of the deep purple ombre of an amethyst crystal by now. It is just so gorgeous. Amethyst has lots of connections to relaxation and combating anxiety, which is why I always have it in my pocket.

Ametrine is a crystal combining both amethyst and citrine, which represents knowledge, so I like working with it when I’m feeling particularly stressed or busy.

Sodalite

Sodalite is stone that I think gets overlooked too often. I use it as a crystal representing wisdom and dreams, so I keep it on my bedside table. It is a beautiful deep blue marbled with white and orange streaks, very dynamic yet calming.

Labradorite

This crystal is one that I’ve always been drawn to, as it represents clarity and strength of the mind. I love the flash of labradorite amidst the grey stone, it reminds me of the fire within each of us. Labradorite is one of my favorite stones to wear as jewelry.

Labradorite comes from the Canadian isle of Labrador, and there is an Inuit tale of how it came to be. Long ago, the Northern Lights were trapped inside the stones of the island and freed to dance in the night sky, but some chose to remain. I think that is such a beautiful store.

Black tourmaline

You’ll see that I lean towards stones with an affiliation of protection, which is what tourmaline represents. Black tourmaline was the first stone ever gifted to me and I have several pieces in my collection.

One of my favorite newer stones to work with is tourmalated quartz, which is clear quartz with points of tourmaline included within. It is a very striking combination, and I like to use it also when grounding.

Moonstone

I am never without my moonstone, wearing it as a ring or earrings. The moonstone is one of the three birthstones of June, which is when my birthday is. Moonstone is often white with a blue flash, and appears to glow from the inside out.

Like the moon itself, moonstone reminds us of the ebb and flow of life, while encouraging us to remember to cultivate our dreams and compassion.

Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels.com

Lessons From The Pandemic: How do I celebrate my loved ones when we aren’t together?

It was recently my husband’s birthday and I couldn’t be home with him. Instead, I had to find ways to show my love for him on his day while we were apart.

Can we all agree that this pandemic has forced us all to get creative with how we do things? I know it has for me. If there is a silver lining at all to the past two years, it’s that a global epidemic has sparked passion and creative into humanity.

As a species, we value togetherness. Humans are pack animals. When we cannot be with those we treasure, we feel sad, upset, angry, depressed. This is normal. It is really difficult to be separated from those we love, from our support network and the people we support.

Not to be a broken record if you’ve heard of these already, but I’ve come up with some ways we can still celebrate our loved ones even when we aren’t together.

• Write them a letter/send a card
• Record a video message to for them
• Schedule a Zoom or FaceTime
• Call, don’t just text
• Create a list of all the things you’ll do together again with them
• Plan a vacation together
• Set a time to watch a movie or show at the same time, then discuss it after
• Have a virtual meal together
• Work on a piece of art that describes your relationship
• Develop a new hobby you can work on together
• Share a list of books you both can read, start a mini book club

These are my ideas and ways I’ve tried to remain emotionally close with my family and friends. I’d love to hear about the ways you’ve been able to celebrate your loved ones during this crazy time!

What Is Spoon Theory? Living with chronic illness

Have you ever wondered what a spoonie is?

Many people living with chronic illness use spoon theory as a tool to describe the amount of energy they have throughout the day:

• Everyone begins the day with a certain number of spoons.
• Each spoon represents a portion of your energy. For if you begin the day with 10 spoons, and have 10 units of energy, an action or task will use one spoon, or one portion of your energy.
• You give up a spoon when you perform an action, like getting dressed for the day, making lunch, doing laundry, or going outside for a walk.
• When you have used up all your spoons, you have to rest.

Energy conservation and distribution is really important to us chronically ill folk. By giving up a spoon, we use up some of our energy, so we have to plan ahead for our day so we don’t use them all too soon.

If we use up all our spoons too soon, we can feel fatigued or lethargic, or experience an influx of symptoms we’d prefer not to deal with. Spoon theory works as an explanation for how we’re feeling over the course of the day.

Some people with chronic illness call themselves spoonies as a way to describe where they are with their illness. But people without illnesses can be spoonies too; every person begins the day with a certain amount of energy. Spoons can be used by anyone, but the concept began with the chronically ill community.

Disability doesn’t discriminate. Mental illness doesn’t discriminate. Physical illness doesn’t discriminate. Anyone of any background can be affected by chronic health problems. Therefore, anyone can use spoon theory.

It is a good tool for those of us living with a chronic health condition to describe how we feel, and how much energy we have for activities during the day. Some things use up more than one spoon, like traveling or going to the doctor. You can also get spoons back if you take medication or rest.

Did you know about spoon theory? Is it something you’ll use in the future?

Intention Setting – A Beginner’s Guide

Intention: Mental state representing commitment to perform an action.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I was introduced to intention setting sometime in 2020, and I quickly grasped onto the concept.

I prefer setting intentions over resolutions or goals, because I feel as though there is less pressure to follow through to meet a deadline. An intention can always be a work in progress, an idea you want to hold onto to manifest into your life. It’s a long term commitment to self improvement, and is a journey you create.

Setting an intention can look any number of ways. Here, I’ll be sharing a few of the ways I like to set intentions, be it daily or long term. I like to use them as a form of grounding, as most of my intentions focus around my mental health. But sometimes I also use them for goals and dreams I have for my future.

On days I’m feeling good, or even when I’m not, I try to choose a word, phrase, or even an idea to hold onto during the day to motivate me or keep my spirits up. I suppose you could call this an affirmation, or mantra. I like to use concepts like joy, inner peace, calm, self acceptance, or even “just be.” Some days you gotta just exist and let that be enough.

I also like to write my intentions down somewhere, like my journal or planner. I really love that the planner I chose this year from goddessprovisions.com has a section to write down what you want to focus on in the coming week, and also a spot to reflect on what you achieved. Some people find it motivating to track their progress towards their intentions, small or large.

Each year on January 1st, I like to set up a little ritual to set an intention. I draw inspiration for writing down this intention from all places: books I’ve read, advice I’ve been given, social media posts that I like, anything and anywhere. I write it down on a piece of paper, and sit and meditate with it for a while, focusing on the words and welcoming them into my heart and mind.

I’m a lover of crystals and stones, so I often use them as grounding tools. I pick one each year to “set” my intention, and will return to mediate with it, or even just hold it close, when I need a reminder. I always cleanse the crystal prior to this, either with moon water (be careful – some crystals are water soluble) or smoke.

Of course, you should do what feels right for you. You don’t need fancy trappings to create an intention ritual, I just prefer it myself.

My intentions for 2022 involve focusing on my whole health, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual, as well as working on self love and loving others. It’s been a rough past two years, and I just need some peace and joy, even if I find it in the little things.

What about you? Do you set intentions?

5 things not to say to someone with an eating disorder (and 5 things to say instead)

Does anyone else enjoy watching those Buzzfeed-type videos where they show people with something different about them sharing their thoughts on rude comments they receive? I watched a fair few (okay, it was a whole afternoon binging them) and the one thing I wish they all did was share ideas of what is okay to say to someone who is different.

I live with an eating disorder. These are chronic health illnesses that can kill people, if they do not receive adequate medical care. Eating disorders are different for each person, and their treatment is unique as well.

There is a ton of stigma surrounding all kinds of mental health conditions, but eating disorders can be especially tricky. Yes, the disease exists inside of my head, but it affects my behaviors and my outward appearance. Malnutrition is a messy beast that can leave long-term effects on a person, physically and psychologically.

It took me a long time to open up to tell people about my diagnosis. Most people did not understand it, and I didn’t fully understand it myself, even after lots and lots of therapy. And no one ever knows what to say when someone they know tells them they have a life-threatening illness, but there’s sadly so much misinformation about eating disorders, that it becomes even harder.

5 things not to say to someone with an eating disorder:

• “But you look fantastic!”

Thank you, I spent a long time pairing my outfit with this eyeshadow look.

It can be easy to hide behind clothes and makeup, to give a glamour of health. Listen, I don’t give a damn about the number on the scale. I didn’t when I was heavier, and I don’t now. Health is about so much more than what you look like on the outside.

• “You should eat something.”

If I could, don’t you think I would?

My boss said this to me as I left for my lunch break one day. I was flabbergasted. No one chooses to have an eating disorder, just like no one chooses to have any other mental health disorder, or health problem.

• “That’s just a thing young people/women get.”

No one says that about cancer patients.

Eating disorders do not discriminate. They don’t care how old or young you are, how much money is in your bank account, or what else is going on in your life.

• “So you don’t like food?”

*Insert facepalm emoji.*

I love food, actually, I just have an incredibly hard time eating it. I love to cook and bake, feel the ingredients in my hands and smell a meal coming together. It has less to do with food and more to do with intrusive, anxious thoughts; at least for me. Boy oh boy, do I love chocolate, especially a bar of dark with some crunchy bits while reading a book…

• “I wish I had your discipline, but I love _____ too much to be skinny.”

Guess what? I’ve been “chubby” too – and I love who I am regardless.

It’s not about discipline, it’s not about being skinny, it’s not about weight loss. Educate yourself on what an eating disorder really is, and you’ll see how complex they can be. On a good day, yes, I eat “healthy” foods, but I also will eat the second cookie if I want. An eating disorder is so hard to explain because at it’s core, it isn’t about the food. It is not a diet. It is a disease.

Yes, I have had all these things said to me before. Mostly by other women, and all of them by people who did not know how much I was struggling. I want to share this to help break down the stigma, and because I want you to know that you are not alone.

5 things you can say to someone with an eating disorder

• “I am here for you. I may not understand, but I care about you and want to see you succeed.”

Being there, emotionally, for someone to lean on, can be tough. We are often wrapped up in ourselves, but when we open up to be present for others and help them through a challenging time, your relationship with that person can only improve.

• “Tell me how I can help support you.”

I made it a point to make lists for my husband, parents, and best friend of things I need from them when I have an episode and am really struggling with my eating disorder or anxiety, because they kinda go hand in hand for me. It was hard to share that with them, because it felt so personal, but all they wanted was to know how to help.

• “What are some signs I can watch for when I’m with you to help you manage this?”

I was not the first one to notice the signs of my eating disorder because I struggled with disordered eating prior to be diagnosis. Now that I’m working on recovery, I do keep note of my thoughts and behaviors around food.

I learned from a series of bad panic attacks when I was first diagnosed with anxiety that I needed to tell people I was around regularly when an attack was beginning, and I apply that to my eating disorder to. Recovery is really freaking hard, but the people that love you only want to help you feel better. So tell them if something could trigger an unwanted response.

• “Would you like a hug?”

Yes, absolutely! (Provided you take COVID precautions.) Physical affection means so much to some people, and it can be emotionally grueling to tell someone about your illness. Simply offering a gentle touch goes miles in reassurance.

• “So… Can I still come over to watch The Vampire Diaries tomorrow night?”

This one sounds flippant and stupid, but all I wanted when I was diagnosed was the people I loved to still see me for me. And I still wanted to be included. Make plans with people, because we all need connection.

Actually, these are things you can say to someone struggling with other mental illnesses too.

You are not weak for needing help, for wanting help. Asking for help is one of the most courageous things you can ever do, even if it is the most scary.

So what do I say when someone asks me something inappropriate about my eating disorder now? I literally give them advice from a dietician I work with: “Everyone is on their own journey.”