As my grandparents have gotten older and moved out of their houses I visited as a child and into independent/dependent care facilities, the way that I’ve interacted with them has evolved. I am very lucky to have 3 grandparents still living, and I got to see them this summer, which I am so grateful for. What I have learned is that despite growing older and shifting schedules, they still want to be a part of my life. So, I’ve adapted.

Communication and connection is essential as we age. Our society tends to shove people aside as they get older, which is really unfair. Grandparents have a lot to offer in terms of wisdom, stories, and love. So I have some advice for those who want to maintain or improve contact with aging loved ones, from my own experience.

  • Communicate on their level, with patience
    • Not everyone has the same kind of experience with technology, so be prepared to communicate on their level. You also may need a lot of patience with grandparents who are hard of hearing and have physical disabilities. Your going the extra mile to interact with them in ways that they understand goes a long way and you won’t regret it.
  • Schedule calls/Skype/FaceTime
    • Make time in your schedule to call or video chat. Once or twice a month is probably what most people can make time for, but it will mean a lot to both parties. Keep a little list of things you guys can talk about and catch up on, and don’t get annoyed if they repeat themselves. Our memories tend to dissolve as we age and the best thing to do is go with the flow.
  • Send snail mail
    • Letters, notes, and post cards break up the monotony of an empty mailbox and the annoyance of bills and spam mail. Taking the time to jot down a card really shows you care. I like to fill my grandparents in on any recent trips I took, how work is going, any projects I’ve been doing, and of course how Drypp is doing. Sending a thank you note for something they send you is also a really nice gesture.
  • Mutual respect for schedules
    • They will most likely not want to bother you because they know how busy you are. Show them that same respect and coordinate times to talk on the phone that work for everyone.
  • What kind of gifts can you give?
    • For birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays, not everyone needs more stuff. Actually, most of us could do with less stuff. In lieu of things, I like to give special food items, like nice chocolates or a local fancy jam. I also curated a list of homemade and useful gifts I like to give people, with you can find here. Flowers, books, movie tickets, and gifts cards to a favorite restaurant are also thoughtful options.